MindReading Zombie
by dean-supernatural-sam
Summary: Oneshot story...just for laughs. Don't take seriously. Sam and Dean meet up with old friends and try to rid of a zombie that is killing wheatfarmers.


So welcome to my new story... i think i should explain where this concept came from. My best friend Allanah stayed over last night, and in our boredomness and highness we decided to write a fanfic. I want to note that Allanah has seen half an ep of Supernatural, and she did write the majority of this story. Things are not historically correct, but who cares. We were bored, and we hope you get a bit of a laugh out of this. We were not being serious; basically we wrote this story without the use of our brains.

Reviews would be great.

Nikki & Allanah

Warning: This story contains Supernatural themes. (lol) and does refer to a couple of rude things...but not really. DONT SUE!

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Dean glared at Sam infuriated with infuriating feelings.

'Dude, why did you have to let that damn mind-reading zombie escape?' yelled Dean. 'I spent so long hunting that damn thing down and in three shakes of a hairy baboons balls you let him go!'

'Had you not been flirting with everything in a 50 mile radius, you might have noticed that I needed help and it was getting away!' yelled back Sam.

'I do not flirt!' exclaimed Dean in a hurt tone.

'Look Dean,' sighed Sam. 'this hunting zombies and stuff is getting really old. We've abandoned other jobs why can't we forget this one?'

'Because evil doesn't take a holiday Sam!' yelled Dean in a tone implying how obvious the statement was.

Sam sighed. 'Dean…Dean…Dean. We can either sit here, researching mind-reading zombies and killing our brain cells, staring at a computer. Or, we could go and get drunk and kill our brain cells with alcohol, and forget about this job for good.'

Dean was obviously weighing up the options, stopping to think.

'I think the second option would be for the greater good.'

Sam let out a heavy breath in relief. He didn't really want to go to the bar, but he was over this stupid mind-reading zombie thing.

The two brothers, one much more enthusiastic than the other, started making their way out into the cold night air. As Dean reached for his car keys, Sam snatched them away.

'Safety doesn't take a holiday either Dean,' Sam said, using a sarcastic tone. 'It's only a couple of blocks; we're walking.'

Dean groaned in disgust but began walking the short distance to the bar.

Standing outside the bar, Dean could automatically tell it was his kind of place.

'This is my kind of place!' Dean exclaimed getting excited and jittery. The brothers could hear the heavy bass of the music and glasses being smashed. Dean pushed the heavy wooden door open, with Sam following, reluctantly entering the bar in a reluctant fashion.

'How about a Tequila, bro?' Sam asked his hopeless brother in an attempt to get him so drunk that he would forget all about the mind-reading zombie that had plagued them.

'We'll start with, say, three?' Dean asked, hoping his uptight brother would leave his boring, safe self at home.

'I think I'll just have one,' Sam replied, nodding towards the old, intimidating bartender. The bartender, whose nametag read 'Horace', went off to collect the boys poison. Whilst waiting for their drinks to arrive, Dean and Sam turned around to check out the scene. The small bar was moderately full, mainly of middle-aged people. They were all burly and scruffy looking, and somewhat scary, the typical rock and roll crowd. There were the odd few younger music appreciators who were indulging in their weekly fix of live, local music. None of them caught Deans keen eye. None of them apart from the two female members of the band playing onstage.

'Sammy, recognize the drummer and the singer?' Dean asked his brother, punching his chest to get his attention.

Sam looked at his brother puzzled, 'No, should I?' Sam was wondering whether they actually knew these girls or it was just Dean perving through his beer goggles.

'When we were growing up…our neighbours on both sides of us…' Dean said, enthusiastically trying to reignite his brother's memory.

'Oh yeah!' said Sam. 'Nikki and Allanah, the only two girls to ever reject you!' Sam grinned at his brother's discomfort.

'I choose to forget that. Stop living in the past, dude, and start living in the now. Now… we will get those girls!' Dean said, starting to make his way, Tequila's in hand, to the stage.

'Dude, do you ever think with this head?' Sam questioned, pointing to the head on his shoulders.

'What kind of stupid question is that?' Dean was now at the front of the stage, Sam tagging along to make sure his brother didn't get into any trouble. After what seemed like hours of waiting to Dean, but the alcohol flowing through his system could have easily caused that, the band finished their last set. Allanah, the drummer, and Nikki, the vocalist, started making their way offstage; immensely satisfied with the set they just played. They were swiftly stopped on their way to the bar by the "suave" linguistics of Dean.

'Ladies, I must say you two have grown up to be quite the ladies.'

'That would make sense,' Nikki replied, trying to get past the boys, to get her free drinks.

'Dean you will never change, will you?' Allanah said, shaking her head and pulling him in for a hug.

'Oh my god, a rock star remembers me!' Dean mockingly said.

'How would I forget you? I lived next to you for 15 years and you tried your moves on me for 14. Well, at least when you were home.'

Dean just smiled sheepishly, before downing another Tequila. Nikki rolled her eyes at him, a small smile on her face, and finally got to the bar.

'I'll have two Bloody Mary's please,' she said to the old bartender.

'So, how's things been Sam?' she asked, turning to face him.

'Yeah ok; except for the part of looking after him,' he said, jerking his thumb at Dean, who had just tripped over his own foot.

'Lucky you,' Nikki said sarcastically.

'I know, I'm sure you'd like that,' Sam replied, trying to pan his brother off onto someone else.

'I'll be right. So, how have you been? How's the love life going?' Nikki asked, hoping he would say he was single. Nikki had always secretly had a crush on Sam. Little did she know, he often felt the same.

'Uh…the love life is somewhat non-existent. It's hard to have one with the Supernatural duties, and looking after him,' he replied, once again motioning towards Dean, who now had Nikki's guitar and was drunkenly trying to seduce Allanah by playing some sort of Flamenco/Latin piece.

'Deano, what the hell?' Allanah asked through uncontrollable laughter.

'I thought it might impress you,' Dean replied shyly, not being able to control what he was saying. The alcohol had started to take its toll.

'It would be a lot more impressive if you could actually play the guitar,' Allanah said, managing to get the guitar off him. 'How about we go back to the hotel for more drinks there?'

'Is there Tequila?' Dean asked, in a dazed excitement.

'Sure is. There's a mini bar!' Allanah replied, trying to hurry them along.

'I'll just ask the uptight one,' Dean said, turning and stumbling towards Sam. Dean gave up on the attempt to walk over to him and started yelling across the bar. 'Sammy, wanna go back to the hotel? There's more Tequila!'

Sam looked up from Nikki to his clearly drunk brother and shook his head. He looked back to Nikki, 'I suppose it would be safer.'

'It's all about safety with you, isn't it?' Nikki said, laughing. The four started making their way out of the bar in an awkward fashion. Allanah was supporting Dean, with his arms draped over her shoulders. Dean was stumbling at best; he had almost lost control of his legs, and he was yelling at every old person in sight, accusing them of being zombies. Nikki and Sam were casually strolling behind them, catching up on all the lost time.

Walking into the reception area of the hotel, Sam had a funny feeling. He had that feeling you get when you know someone is watching you. The four stood and waited at the front desk for a few minutes, Dean playing with the little bell. Suddenly, an odd looking man walked out. The man was old and decrepit looking, Sam thought it was odd that such a weak, old man would be working so late at night.

'Can we have the key to our rooms?' Nikki asked the smelly man.

'Number 17 and 18?' The man asked in reply.

'Yeah, how did you know, you weren't working earlier?' Nikki was getting scared.

'Well, some might say I can read minds.'

Sam knew that this was the mind-reading zombie they had before that had been killing all the wheat-farmers. He was torn, did he go on and kill the zombie, or did he leave it be and rekindle his love affair with the luscious Nikki?

'ZOMBIE!' Dean yelled, pointing to the old 'man'.

'Dean, you've been saying that about everyone. I think it's time to lay off the Tequila,' Allanah said.

'Don't ever say that about Tequila again! It's not the Tequila's fault! I'm right this time, ask Sam!' Dean replied, sounding very sure of himself. The zombie was almost in fits of laughter on the floor, as he could see everything that was about to play out in front of him.

'He's right,' Sam said, looking at the floor. He couldn't face everyone.

'Can I just say, you four don't have to kill me, I wasn't going to eat your brains,' the zombie said to all of them, trying to get them up to their rooms. 'But there wouldn't be very much to eat in his case anyway,' he said, pointing his long, dilapidated finger towards Dean.

'That's not very nice. You've hurt my feelings,' Dean said, flabbergasted.

'We weren't going to kill you anyway,' Nikki said, also trying to get up to her room.

'The boys were thinking it.'

'We most certainly were not!' Dean said.

'I think you have forgotten that I am a mind reading zombie you fool!' The zombie replied, letting out an evil laugh.

'In that case, Allanah, go get the foil, we need hats!' Dean said, grabbing the reception desk to steady himself. 'My head hurts.' He added with a moan.

Allanah just stared at him with a weird expression upon her face.

'Allanah! The foil!' he said forcingly. Letting out a exasperated sigh, Allanah slowly walked off to get some foil.

'Hah, what are you going to do now!' said Dean, trying his best to imitate an evil laugh. He stuck his tongue out at the zombie, who was standing there, unsure of what would happen. Foil hats actually work! He couldn't see what would happen in the future!

'That is one dumb zombie,' Nikki murmured to Sam. 'Why is he just standing there? You'd think he's try run away.'

'I've got foil,' Allanah said, running in holding the tube above her head. Dean lunged excitedly at it.

'Ooh…so smooth…so shiny,' he said. He began wrapping it furiously around the crown of his head. 'Whose the biatch now?' he added, turning into a kung-fu position.

The four foil-hat-wearing persons went at the defenseless zombie. Sam reached for his knife, while Dean miraculously pulled an axe from the back of his pants.

'Imagine what else fits in those pants,' Allanah whispered to Nikki. The two girls giggled.

The zombie, who could no longer read minds due to foil hats, stood looking between the two brothers, unsure of what he should do.

Dean, with his rather large axe, ran screaming towards the zombie, swinging the axe furiously. He lunged, trying to slice the zombie, but the weight of the axe got to him, and he missed, by a good two metres, and fell on the floor.

'Is he asleep?' Allanah said, confused.

'Haha! You missed!' The zombie screeched in delight at Dean, who rolled into the fetal position and began to suck his thumb.

'Oh god…he's not related to me…he's not related to me,' groaned Sam. His knife gleaming in his hand, he advanced slowly on the zombie. He walked at a slow pace to be somewhat fair, as the zombie couldn't move like he used to be able to; he was about 200 years old now. The zombie surprised Sam though, and threw a punch, which Sam immediately blocked. Wow, this zombie could move! Sam and the zombie seemed to be evenly matched, that is, until Nikki got so mad that the zombie had connected with Sam that she threw herself onto it's back, hanging on for dear life, her hands covering it's eyes.

'Allanah, go to the Impala and grab me a rock-salt gun from the boot,' yelled Sam, tossing her the keys. He turned back to the zombie, and stabbed him in the arm. His arm was so old, that it fell off. Sam gagged in disgust at the putrid smell that came from the arm, and he kicked it away. Allanah came sliding back into the reception area, and threw the gun to Sam.

'Nikki let go of him now!' yelled Sam. Nikki dropped to the ground, and scrambled for cover with Allanah. Sam raised his gun, and blew the zombie away. The moment the rock salt hit the old creature, guts and body parts splattered everywhere, miraculously missing Dean and Sam.

Peering over the desk they had taken cover under, Nikki and Allanah let out sighs of relief. Finally, wheat farmers around the area were safe. Looking around the desk, Nikki spotted the keys too room 17 and 18.

'Let's get Dean to his room,' she said. While Sam and Allanah dragged Dean along the hallways, Nikki went ahead and unlocked the doors. When they had Dean safely on a bed, Nikki grabbed Sam's hand and led him out of the room.

'Don't have too much fun!' Nikki called back to her friend.

'You,' she said, motioning to Sam. 'Can come with me.' She led the way into the room and shut the door.

And that, my friends, is how Sam and Dean found love in their childhood friends, and how all the wheat-farmers were saved from the mind-reading extremely dumb zombie, and how everyone learnt that Tequila and Dean wasn't a good idea. They lived happily ever after.

THE END


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